Have you ever tried so hard to think positive thoughts when you’re in so much pain either from chronic pain, feeling stressed and overwhelmed, and it just didn’t work.
When things go wrong, and you’re still trying to have a positive attitude and not think negatively because all the motivational books you’ve read say that in order for you to have positive things happen to you, you need to think positive thoughts all the time.
And when a negative thought pops or you’re not feeling so good, simply ignore that. Let it go. And switch to the positive.
A lot of people email me to ask about this. They say I’ve been trying to think positively despite living with chronic pain and it’s not working.
It’s hard to reconcile the fact that you’re living in pain, your body is hurting, or feeling terrible with what the books are saying.
These two things aren’t aligned and your brain will find a hard time reconciling these two things too.
If you’re trying hard to ignore how you’re feeling, resist it, and you’re forcing yourself not to think about it, you’ll be fighting an uphill battle.
Here’s what gonna happen in the end. Something will happen that’ll make you crack and you’ll end up going back to the negative thinking. You’ll feel frustrated at yourself and the cycle begins again.
So today, I’m going to show you a better way to stop negative thoughts so that they’re not affecting you, your mental well-being and your nervous system. (I describe this process below the video as well if you can’t watch right now!)
This is a better way that I learned recently (I share a step-by-step masterclass inside the Simple Mind-Body Healing System that goes more in detail about how to change your emotions. But I want to share it with you as well here.
This is a 3-step neuro-linguistic programming technique that will work for the long-term.
the 3-step process to permanently stop negative thinking
Listen and be aware
The very first step is to be fully aware of how you’re feeling in your body. This is what most people don’t do.
They just try to ignore their negative thinking or how bad they’re feeling right now. Well, what you resist will persist… So you might as well listen to your body.
You’ll be amazed at what will come up.
So tune into your body, be aware of what’s bothering you. If you’re sad, angry, frustrated, or annoyed, be aware of that.
Don’t dwell on it or dig yourself deeper into feeling bad or depressed. This is an exercise to cultivate your self-awareness and strengthen your mind-body connection.
- Are you breathing deeply or is your breath very shallow?
- Are you stressed out? Does your body feel so tense you can’t relax?
- How are you holding your posture?
You can even journal and write down what you noticed.
Then ask yourself…
Why am I feeling this way? Am I angry at something specific? is this a pattern?.
Just explore why you’re feeling the way you do and try to trace the feeling to a root cause.
If you get to the root cause, you can now do something about it at least instead of just pushing it to the back of your mind and trying to ignore it every time.
Transition into Positive Thinking
Next, you want to also be aware that negative thinking doesn’t usually fix anything. It doesn’t change anything. So feeling the way you do will not make a change to whatever you’re upset about.
Making that realization is the first step to transitioning into thinking positive thoughts.
Reframing The Negative Thoughts
I’m going to show you a very powerful process I learned through a neuro-linguistic programming course I took.
Watch the video if you want to follow along with me.
I want you to close your eyes and just feel the feeling right now. Whatever that feeling is.
Imagine that feeling or sensation being a physical object.
What color would it be? What size is it? what shape is it?
Don’t force anything here, just notice what comes up and if for example, it doesn’t have a shape, that’s fine. Just notice that. That it has no shape.
Notice its smell. Does it remind you of anything in particular?
Now hold this object in your hands and make it as small as possible. Just hold it from each angle and move your hands closer so that the size of the object shrinks (all while having your eyes closed).
Now change its color into something more positive, cheerful and joyful.
If it has a dark color and feel, change that. Make it brighter, clean it out, change whatever it is making it feel dark and gloomy.
Now hold that object after making all those changes, how do you feel about it now?
Usually, when people go through this process they feel so much better, lighter, and the feeling is more permanent…because you used your nervous system and mind to change the feeling.
Now, it’s much easier to think more positively.
Normally at this point, you can go about your day holding that positive feeling in your body. But if you want to go the extra mile, you can do a gratitude exercise. Gratitude is the easiest way to feel positive.
When you are feeling grateful, it’s almost impossible to think of negative thoughts.
The most important thing I want you to learn from this whole process is… to never ignore how you’re feeling.
Always listen to your body. A feeling is just a feeling. We label them as bad or good. But at the end of the day, that’s your body communicating to you and you need to listen.
Figure out why you’re not feeling so good and then you can change it.
If you are interested in learning more about how to use the power of your mind and nervous system to heal your body, click here to read more about my brand new program the Simple Mind-Body Healing System. Some amazing bonuses are inside the program that’ll change your life to the better!
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